Fanmail from Arty J.
I really like The Plug, it makes me feel like a bowl half full of trifle (I'm an optimist, you see. Hence "half full". There are websites out there that make me feel like a half-empty bowl of trifle, but yours isn't one of them. It's the opposite, in fact.)
Anyway, I'd better get to the point before I start to ramble and put you off reading the rest of the contents of the email which I am writing to you at The Plug right now.
My cat is very, very sick and I need money to get him a new hip.
-Kidding! I don't even have a cat! I want one though (a healthy one) but I'm waiting for my letting agent to get back to me to tell me whether or not the flat's owner would be OK with it. It's been a couple of weeks now, do you think I should call? What if he says no? I sometimes think I should have just bought a cat and then waited to see if they cared enough to actually evict me for having a feline. I could always use the "pest control" angle, but I suppose that's a bit "old-hat" now isn't it? Anyway, back to the email.
yeah, I love the plug... I don't really have a concluding clause for this sentence so I'll talk about something else instead..
If you're still reading this email I'd like to congratulate you for your patience. Patient people are few and far between in this era of instant-gratification; everyone channel surfing and web browsing and generally behaving like the world's about to explode, which probably isn't sa million miles from the truth, given the state of affairs internationally.
I'm going to go. your wife's hot.