Mexican Jesus Candle Race Results
Mexican Jesus Candle Race Results |
FIRST CANDLE SNUFFED: JUSTO JUEZ PLUG: I've got some bad news. JESSICA: What? PLUG: Your candle's out of the race. JESSICA: Why us? PLUG: Your candle was the first one to go. JESSICA: Man! That sucks. SETH: Yeah. You said it was going well for us. PLUG: Yeah. I can't tell. SETH: He's already recording. You're such a sneaky little devil. PLUG: I'm getting people's reactions. SETH: Well, why don't you tell people before you start recording? PLUG: Because! Why don't you? |
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SECOND TO GO: VIRGEN DE GUADELUPE PLUG: I have bad news. PATTI: What? PLUG: Your candle was the second to go. PATTI: Aww! When did it happen? PLUG: It lasted five days and four hours. PATTI: I really thought I was going to win. PLUG: The power of the virgin? No. PATTI: ‘Cause you know, Jesus died before Mary did. PLUG: Is that right? |
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THIRD PLACE: LA MANO MAS PODEROSA JAY: Had I come in last place, I would have called my friends assholes. Had I won, my friends would have called me an asshole. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
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RUNNER UP: SAN RAMÓN [NOODLÉS] PLUG: Your candle didn’t win. JENN: What the fuck are you talking about?! PLUG: You came in second place. And you know what? You only lost by, like, an hour. JENN: Was it Jason’s? PLUG: It was Jason’s. JENN: [yelling] You fucker! – I was at a disadvantage because my candle was in the middle, okay? PLUG: You should have been at a disadvantage because you thought your candle was supposed to go out, and not last long. So in actuality, you did pretty damn good. JENN: I don’t know where you got these rules from. That’s how we do it up north. It’s just not fair. |
THE ALMIGHTY WINNER: SACRED HEART OF JESUS PLUG: I just wanted to tell you the news. JASON: What news? PLUG: Your Mexican Jesus Candle beat them all. JASON: Yes! Wow! That makes me a lot happier than it should. PLUG: I really can't explain it. I think it's an act of God. JASON: It is. It's Jesus. PLUG: Err, Jesus or whoever does that stuff. I'm not really sure. JASON: Son of God. PLUG: Son of God, yeah. That sounds good. |
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