Home Bleep Home

Mexican Jesus Candle Race: Meet The Candles

You wouldn't want to wager irresponsibly.

La Mano Mas Poderosa

"I got the hand with stigmata, because scars are tough."

- purchased by Jay Carlson


Justo Juez

"We're better than everyone else's candle..."

"... Because they tried to overcharge us, and then we realized we needed our Kroger card..."

"..And then it also says Justo Juez. You really can't beat that."

-purchased by Jessica G. & Seth G.


San Ramón [Noodlés]

"I want to be the one that has women on its knees. I like the power. This candle is going out."

- purchased by Jenn S.


Virgen de Guadalupe

"I have the power of the virgin. And she is going to outlast all of the saints, because she is better than them. [She will last] thirty-five days."

- purchased by Patti Carlson.


Sacred Heart of Jesus

"It's going to whoop all the other candle's asses, because everyone else is probably going to have those Catholic candles. You know, Mary or some kind of saint. But I got the son of God here. And the son of God is going to come down on everyone."

- purchased by Jason Royal


Meet The Candles

Let The Race Begin

... Then Joke.
Issue #45