The Job Is Always Greener: A Curious Interview
Everyone has highs and lows when it comes to their jobs. Lately, I've been feeling like a cold front is brewing. That's not to say that I don't like my job, but I can't help but think that someone else has found the key to job bliss. And maybe with a little prodding, they'll make me a copy. Shoe shine guys are always a source of wisdom, so my path to enlightenmight began there.
|PLUG: Do you enjoy your job?
SHOESHINE: I do.
PLUG: Would you say your job is easy?
SHOESHINE: No way. My job is hard.
PLUG: What makes it so hard?
SHOESHINE: It's hard to get customers. Look at me. I need a customer right now. [laughs]
PLUG: Maybe you need an easier job. Is there any job easier than yours?
SHOESHINE: A judge.
PLUG: A judge?
SHOESHINE: Yeah. The police do all the work, you know? They catch the criminal, but the judge just sit there, listen to the case, and then judge.
PLUG: What's a job that's harder than yours? What's the hardest job?
SHOESHINE: Manual labor. Manual labor. Those guys got it hard.
...Which led me to a guy sitting in the back of a delivery truck. Aside from the fact the man was "resting" (his words), he seemed to be the embodiment of manual labor.
|PLUG: What do you think the easiest job is?
TRUCK: When you're running things.
PLUG: You mean, like, a manager?
TRUCK: No. Much higher than that. CEO.
PLUG: That's an easy job?
TRUCK: I think so. Stare at a bunch of paper. Make sure the figures are right. Nowadays a corporation probably doesn't do that. They just take the money and run.
PLUG: What do you do?TRUCK: I deliver alcohol.
...Which led me to a guy who owned his own company. He also pays me money. Because he's my boss.
|PLUG: I asked a delivery man who he thought had an easy job. He said a CEO.
BOSS: He was in the office?
PLUG: No. He was on the street. But you're the president of a company. What do you think of that?
BOSS: I think it's important for you to define easy, because does easy mean you don't have to think? Or does easy mean you don't have to exert physical energy?
PLUG: I think people probably think of it as, yeah, you don't do anything, but you get paid a lot.
BOSS: I think that you're probably right. When I think of easy, I think of stimulation that generates positive energy, and thereby directs one's energy in a way they get rewarded.
PLUG: So what do you think an easy job is?
BOSS: I know exactly what my answer will be. I think an easy job is the job one loves.
PLUG: So… you're not picking a specific job.
BOSS: I think the job that is easy for each person is the one that they are enthused about and connected with. That makes it easy.
PLUG: So would you say your job is easy then?BOSS: Absolutely.
My boss made a lot of sense. Clearly, I had no other choice than to visit an adult video store.
PORNO CLERK: Hey.
PLUG: Question. I want to know who you think has an easy job.
PORNO CLERK: Okay.
PLUG: My boss said… Hang on. I wrote it down. So, my boss said an easy job is one that has “stimulation that generates positive energy.”
PORNO CLERK: Okay.
PLUG: Is that you?
PORNO CLERK: [laughs] What? What's this for? Are you renting?
PLUG: Uh, no. I'm writing an article. For work.
PORNO CLERK: Okay. So what do you want?
PLUG: I want to know if you think you have an easy job.
PORNO CLERK: I don't know. Probably easier than most.
PLUG: Can you think of anyone or anybody that has an easier job than you?PORNO CLERK: Um. [laughs] No.
Did you know that adult video stores will not allow you to take pictures inside of the store even if you ask nicely? However, they will allow you use a pocket tape recorder if they have no knowledge that the recorder is in your possession.