$eeing Dollar $ign$: A Journal To Learn From

Frequent contributor Chris Edwards challenged me to write all S's as dollar signs for one day. It wasn't until I committed to typing you-know-what as you-know-wrong that I realized why Chris only pitched the idea and didn't go through with it on his own. Typing S's as dollar signs can have serious repercussions, especially if one values his job... Time to put my $ where my S is!

7:21 AM - Why is it that everything seems like a good idea late at night? But then the sun comes up and [boom] discretion returns. I checked my email as I always do when I wake up. Of the two emails that I received overnight, one of them definitely needs to be addressed. I stared at it for a long time. Am I really going to do this? Yeah, I think I am. But maybe I'll wait another hour so I can come up with bogus explanations for potentially confused recipients. I spilled beer on my keyboard and now it types drunk.

So I slouch... Want to fight about it?9:02 AM - Oddly, I didn't have any emails waiting for me when I arrived at work. I don't know how I got so lucky. I'm sure I will be forced to respond to crucial correspondence later in the day, but for now I'm pleased to have picked today as the day for potential income suicide.

9:14 AM - Incidentally, I do not intend to be selective with my substitutions. From search engines to (God forbid) my boss, all outlets are going to see dollar signs. This just in: Passwords that contain the letter S will not work with a $.

I sent my first email substituting S's with dollar signs. I was quite strategic with the wording. Revise became manipulate. Because became due to. Don't misunderstand; I typed plenty of questionable dollar signs (let's face it, one is too many), so I'm not sure that I did myself any favors by scaling them back. The email was about a wedding website that I'm designing. I hope the couple doesn't read too much into the dollar signs, but if they ask, I'll tell them it's social commentary that you can't put a price on love.

9:39 AM - I sent a second email with dollar signs and didn't really think twice about it, because the recipients were my friends who probably didn't even notice.

11:02 AM - I typically chat with Patti and Alexis over instant messenger while I'm at work. I predict marriages will be annulled and friendships will be broken by the day's end.

Actually, when Patti got her first taste of $, she laughed and said, "Dollar signs," then never brought it up again. I love that my abnormal actions don't even faze her anymore. I'll take that as a green light to buy that pony I've always wanted.

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Issue #42