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You've Never Met Patti, But What Do You Think Of Her?

 

 
PLUG: You haven't met my wife, but what do you think of her?

MAN: Well I couldn't even tell you if I didn't meet her.

PLUG: Uh. She's really awesome. Does that help?

MAN: Uh huh, yeah. She's awesome.

PLUG: She is awesome.

MAN: Yeah.

PLUG: I think she'll be really pleased to hear you say that actually. And your name is?

MAN: Carlos.

PLUG: Carlos. Her name is Patti. Did I mention that?

MAN: Nah.

PLUG: Oh, I didn't? Does that change your opinion of her?

MAN: No, no, no, no, no. It's pretty cool.

 

 
 

 

 
PLUG: Patti is my wife. I want to know what you think of her.

WOMAN #1: Okay. Where is she at?

PLUG: She's not here.

WOMAN #1: Oh, I get it. I get it.

WOMAN #2: Okay, go.

PLUG: That's it. What do you think of my wife, Patti?

WOMAN #1: Oh. She's lovely.

PLUG: Isn't she?

WOMAN #2: She's beautiful with, like, long pretty hair.

WOMAN #1: [whispering] What's this for?

 

 
 

 

 
PLUG: How do you feel about the name Patti?

WOMAN: Patti? That always works for me.

PLUG: Does it change anything if it's spelled with an I versus a Y?

WOMAN: You know, I don't know. I would think that if you had an I or Y, it might change her... I assume different personalities.

PLUG: So it does matter if there's a Y versus I?

WOMAN: For me. [laughs]

PLUG: My wife's name is Patti.

WOMAN: Really? With an I or a Y?

PLUG: With an I.

WOMAN: I like that!

PLUG: I think it gives her a little more personality.

WOMAN: Yes, exactly.

 

 
 

 

 
PLUG: You've never met my wife, but what do you think of her?

MAN: Uh huh. By showing pictures of her?

PLUG: No, no. Just in general. Her name is Patti.

MAN: Uh huh.

PLUG: What do you think of when you  think of the name Patti?

MAN: Oh. Um. Sure!

PLUG: Okay? So what do you...

MAN: So what do I think of Patti?

PLUG: Yeah.

MAN: Patti I think of as a very practical name. Generally they're good. Um. Very American. And giving. That's usually what I think of when I think of a Patti.

 

(identity withheld)

 
 
Issue #39: The Patti Issue
Issue #39