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Rootin' Tootin'

I do like to gamble for financial gain, yet there are instances when I'll bet just for the pure enjoyment. Like the time I paid a roommate one dollar to eat a pint of sour cream. Or the time I gave an unhygienic friend one dollar to take ten long whiffs of her moist socks that warped all wavelengths of light.

Well, Patti farted while on the couch and blamed it on the dog as usual. Thirty seconds later, another long toot came from Patti's seat while she pointed at the dog. Inspiration struck. I told her, "I will give you a dollar if you can make a third audible fart in the next minute."

"I don't know if I can," she said. "I think I'm all out."

"Fifty seconds left."

Patti's face scrunched until a tiny burp bubbled from her rear. "Pay up!"

I gave Patti the dollar that she rightfully earned and it hit me that maybe I gamble too much, especially when my punishment requires not only losing money but also sitting in three gaseous clouds.*

* - which smell like rainbows, I'm legally required to say.

Issue #39: The Patti Issue
Issue #39