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Mystery Can II: Meet Jay's Cans
(in the order that he consumed them)


Cut Sweet Potatoes

When I visited my parents in Ohio, we went to Costco specifically to find a giant can of baked beans. I briefly considered doing all of my can shopping there and sending Jay several gallon-size cans of fake nacho cheese, but it would have been too expensive to mail. It turned out that the giant cans of baked beans were "meaty" and that violated our no-meat-other-than-seafood rule. Instead, I found a big can of sweet potatoes and figured that would be gross enough.

Green Pigeon Peas with Coconut

I'm not sure what pigeon peas are, but I can't imagine they taste good with coconut. I love how excited the label designer was about the coconut, though. Let's put it on a red ribbon in a cursive font! Fancy!

Quail Eggs

I did my first leg of can shopping at an ethnic grocery store, and this was the first can I saw. I figured it was fate. I really hope these are pickled like those weird purple eggs you sometimes find at salad bars.


My sister shopped with me and had a lot of input in the can selection. The yucca was her special choice. I've never had straight-up yucca, but I think it's like a potato because I've had yucca chips. They were awesome. I think Jay might end up liking this if he can figure out what it is.

Mushroom Gravy

Canned gravy? Seemed sort of like it might be gross. Plus whenever I picture someone having to eat a can of gravy it makes me laugh.

Mandarin Oranges

My parents really got into Mystery Can and wanted to be involved in the process, so I also let my mom and dad each pick out a can. This is the can that my mom picked. She said that she wanted to send a "nice" can. She debated between mandarin oranges and artichokes, eventually deciding that no matter what Jay had prepared as an entree, these would make a nice dessert. Aw, isn't she sweet?

Szechuan Preserved Vegetable

I have no idea what's in this can because every other word on the label is either in French or Chinese (presumably Mandarin, unless Szechuen is a language). The top of the can was really dusty and lacked an expiration date. I'm pretty sure it'd been sitting on the shelf for a long time.

Aromatic Lentils & Beans

My dad's first choice for a Mystery Can was black beans. He squealed, "Ew! Black beans!" After I told him that he could do better, he scampered off to the Ethnic Food aisle. The only thing more disgusting to my dad than beans is Indian food, so he thinks he hit a home run with this can. I personally think that it will taste pretty awesome, but it was his choice.

100% Pure Pumpkin

Before I even went shopping, I knew that I wanted to buy a can of pie filling. I thought it would be a good move because it's unexpected, and I'm not sure that I could eat an entire can of pie filling. I waffled between sour cherry and pumpkin filling and eventually settled on pumpkin due to color and texure.


In preparation of Mystery Can, I actually Googled "disgusting canned food." Huitlacoche was the most disgusting meatless result, so I went on a mission to find a can of it. According to what I read, huitlacoche is a fungus that grows on corn, and it turns the corn all black and fungus-y. It's considered a delicacy and is sometimes known as the "Mexican truffle." Who knows, maybe it will be good?



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Issue #36: No fun for a blind person
Issue #36