Stats On Trick-Or-Treaters

Patti and I do not live in the most privileged neighborhood. The plus side is that we bought our house for cheap. The down side is that many trick-or-treaters don't wear costumes. I use the term trick-or-treater lightly, because those who don't wear a costume also fail to say "trick or treat" when we open the door to give them free candy. Instead, they hold out their school backpacks without saying a word. I muster up, "Happy Halloween," and entitlement becomes as awkward as it sounds.

Ever since the first revelatory Halloween in this house, we've kept a tally of the kids who wear costumes and the kids* who do not. I try to reward those in costume by giving them two pieces of high-quality candy, but the b'holes without costumes usually crush that plan by snatching whatever they want from the candy bowl and then justifying their actions with the all-shall-be-forgiven phrase, "I like Twix."

* Even 20-year-olds (who have an infant in a stroller, yet don't bring the stroller to the door, but it doesn't matter because an infant can't eat candy anyways) are kids at heart.


Issue #35: Knock Knock. Who's There? Boo! Boo Who? Boo Smith, The Town Crier.
Issue #35