Plug/CounterPlug: Tomatoes, Nature's Coin-Flip Food

 

Tomatoes Are Vegetables
by Lee DiGeorge

Salmonella aside, you're completely foolish in thinking that tomato is anything other than a vegetable. I like to eat my tomatoes with salt. Would you put salt on your banana? I think not. Would you put fruit on your pizza? Maybe Pineapple. Pineapple is tasty. But I wouldn't put grapes on my pizza. Although, I do like wine. Hmm. Maybe I would put fruit on my pizza, but that doesn't change the fact that a tomato isn't a fruit. Don't listen to The Plug on this one. Jay's going to try to fill your mind with the newfangled science stuff. Go with your taste buds. And if you disagree, go ahead and put tomato in your next fruit salad. (Note: I dare you, Jay.)

 

Tomatoes Are Fruit
by The Plug

This is an age-old debate, and I can assure you that if I were born a hundred years ago, we'd all be referring to the tomato as a Fruity Jay. Logic is key. Feel free to follow along.

Tomatoes are juicy and have seeds. What vegetable (aside from cucumbers, eggplant, squash, zucchini, and wilted bell peppers) can you say that about? Ta da! Fruit.

Point number two. Tomatoes can be red or green, the official colors of apples and Christmas. I don't recall God telling Adam and Eve not to take a bite of that carrot. Zing! Fruit.

And perhaps the most damning evidence of all, when you rearrange the letters in "tomatoes," you get "same toot." Swoosh! Magical fruit. I'm glad we've had this talk.

 

Issue #32: Like giving yourself a really cool blowjob
Issue #32