The Penis Tile

"You know, I was sitting there in great thought on the toilet one day. I didn't have anything good to read, so I was just passing time and I noticed this pattern. I called Eileen and I said, 'What do you see there?' She looked at it and I had to tell her, 'Do you see a penis there?' Then we started looking to see how many there were and saw that the pattern keeps repeating itself. I thought it was ironic that somebody must have known when they put that tile there that the pattern was there. When you look down it's just unavoidable. We've had a lot of guests use the bathroom and everybody sees the thing. I look at it and sometimes I count them. I'm willing to say [I've counted] fifteen. Fifteen or sixteen."

-Dad Carlson


"[The previous home owners] got that tile at some kind of liquidator store. I have a feeling that it's probably because the liquidators couldn't sell it at a normal store. [The previous home owners] probably bought it for cheap and probably didn't realize that a penis was there. If I'm sitting on the toilet I notice it. Yeah. A bunch of little penises floating around the bathroom."

-Mom Carlson




Issue #32: Like giving yourself a really cool blowjob
Issue #32