Cashing Notes
(Originally Appeared in Issue #17)

I had a bunch of errands to run and knew that I would be interacting with a lot of cashiers, so why not use it to my advantage, their advantage, our advantage? The premise is simple. One cashier writes or doodles a note for the next cashier, and I am but a mere messenger pigeon.


My first stop was at a doughnut shop. The cashier was a woman in her early thirties.


PLUG:  Hi. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions.

DOUGHNUT:  Is this for a class?

PLUG:  No, it's for… I do a little magazine. It's for that.


PLUG:  Sometimes I wish it were for a class so I don't feel so out of place.


PLUG:  Anyway, do you like cashiering?

DOUGHNUT:  Yeah. I like working up here better than in the back. It's easy work for what I get paid.

PLUG:  You must get lonely, right?

DOUGHNUT:  Not really. There's always people to talk to.

PLUG:  Like me?

DOUGHNUT:  [laughs]  Yeah, but you're not usually here.

PLUG:  I'm going to go to some other stores. Would you like to write a note to the next cashier, and I'll deliver it?

DOUGHNUT:  I'm not sure what you want.

PLUG:  You can write them a note or draw a picture. You can do whatever.

DOUGHNUT:  I'm not sure I understand the point.

PLUG:  Well, cashiers have common experiences dealing with people. I don't know. It'd be cute.




I next went to a music store. The cashier was a woman in her early twenties.

PLUG:   Hi. I've got a note for you.  [hands her previous cashier's note]

MUSIC:   [reads note]  Okay. How'd you get this?

PLUG:   I'm asking cashiers to write a little note to the next cashier I go to. Could you keep the chain alive and write one?

MUSIC:   Uh.

PLUG:   It doesn't have to be a message. It can be a picture even.

MUSIC:   So do you keep all these?

PLUG:   Oh yeah.

MUSIC:   [contemplating what to write] Let's see.

PLUG:   Do you like cashiering?

MUSIC:   Oh sure. It's kind of tedious.

PLUG:   Sometimes people can be jerks.

MUSIC:   Yeah, that part I don't mind. I just smile and blow it off. I like cashier more than stocking stuff. [hands Plug the note]

PLUG:   Is this a dumb idea?

MUSIC:   No, it's funny.

PLUG:   Really?

MUSIC:   Yeah.

PLUG:   Alright. Thanks for the bloo bloo bloo.




I had to buy paint brushes, so I shopped at an art store. A man in his early twenties was behind the counter.

PLUG:   That's for you. [hands cashier previous cashier's note]  But you can't keep it.

ART:   [reads note]  I have to give it back to you?

PLUG:   Yeah.

ART:   [re-reads note]  That's pretty funny.

PLUG:   I've been asking cashiers to write some thingamabob to the cashier at the next store I go to.

ART:   So you need me to write something?

PLUG:   Yes, I do.

ART:   [starts drawing immediately]

PLUG:   Oh, it's a picture. Yes! I've been waiting for one of those. Leave it to an art store cashier.




The last stop on the commerce train was a card store for, you know, cards. This time the cashier was another man in his early twenties.

PLUG:   Hi. I want to show you this.  [hands cashier previous cashier's note]

CARD:   [reads note]  What is this?

PLUG:   I'll tell you. Not only was this drawn by a fellow cashier, but by an art store cashier.

CARD:   Ah.

PLUG:   He drew it for you.

CARD:   That's cool. He drew it for me?

PLUG:   Yeah. What do you think?

CARD:   I don't know. It makes you laugh.  [laughs]

PLUG:   I'm having cashiers write or draw something for the next cashier I go to.

CARD:   So you want me to...

PLUG:   Well, except that you're my last cashier. I'd love for you to keep the chain alive, but it won't go to another, to someone else.

CARD:   What's this for?

PLUG:   Class. Math class.

CARD:   Yeah, I can draw something.

PLUG:   You don't have to draw. You can write something if you want.

CARD:   Let's see.  [begins drawing]

PLUG:   Thanks for being a good sport. [cashier finishes picture]  Man, that is just leagues above the last one.

CARD:   Thanks.

PLUG:   I kind of figured that an art store worker…

CARD:   Just because he works there doesn't mean he can draw.



Issue #32: Like giving yourself a really cool blowjob
Issue #32