And The Awards For Best Things
That I've Seen All Day Go To...

CASHIER: Why are you writing my name down?

PLUG: I'm trying to reward people for their exemplary jobs in the service industry.

CASHIER: Aw.

PLUG: You're the best cashier that I've seen all day. I really appreciate the work that you do.

CASHIER: Thank you!

PLUG: You're welcome. Have a good day.

PLUG: Hey, man. How's it going? Are you on a smoke break?

SMOKER: Yeah.

PLUG: I wanted to commemorate your smoke break. I think it's the best smoke break that I've seen all day so I want to give you a certificate for it.

SMOKER: What is... What is this?

PLUG: Well, I just wanted to go around and give people awards for things that I thought was the best thing I've seen all day. And I've got to tell you, man, you taking a smoke break was one of the best. So congratulations.

SMOKER: Wow. Do I... Are you taking a picture?

PLUG: Do you mind if I take a picture?

SMOKER: Not at all. Wow.

PLUG: Hi there. I'm giving out awards today, and I wanted to give you an award for the Best Gas Pumping That I've Seen All Day.

GAS PUMPER: [laughs] You like  the bedroom slippers?

PLUG: It's awesome.

GAS PUMPER: [speaking to the gas pump] Why is this not working?

PLUG: Do you mind if I take a picture of you with your certificate?

GAS PUMPER: Yeah. Give me a minute. Let me pump gas first because I'm, like, driving to Alabama and I'm being retarded. You caught me on my way to do things that I have to be ready for.

PLUG: [takes picture] Brilliant. Thank you very much. Enjoy your day.

GAS PUMPER: You, too.

PLUG: What's the name of this dry cleaners?

CLEANER: Carriage.

PLUG: I would like to present this certificate to you for great dry cleaning today.

CLEANER: Oh. Wow.

PLUG: Do you mind if I take a picture of you with the certificate.

CLEANER: Me?

PLUG: Yeah.

CLEANER: No.

PLUG: Why not? It's a great honor.

CLEANER: I know, but I don't want to take a picture.

PLUG: Alright. I'll try later. Well enjoy the certificate.

CLEANER: Alright. Thank you.

PLUG: Bye. Aw. I want to shake hands with somebody.

I've gotten so drunk with power that I feel like identifying everything that I think is pretty awesome. Like this yellow fish.

Don't be sad. You can download your own Plug Certificate here!
In fact, it's the best certificate download that I've seen all day.

Issue #29