The Monocle Trio: Mason & Aaron's Journal

Part One: Beverly Hills, Rodeo Drive

1:25 p.m. - I'm nervous. Luckily I won't run into anyone I know. Shit, does TMZ take pictures of eccentrics?

1:38 p.m. - I've been walking around for 15 minutes but no one wants to talk. Apparently they've seen Old Money before. Maybe I need to be more confrontational?

(Photos by Aaron Rainwater)

1:44 p.m.

MASON: Excuse me, do you have the time?

ANGRY GUY: [angrily] Yeah. One thirty.

MASON: Oh, is that bank time or train station time?

ANGRY GUY: I have no idea.

Aaron (photographer) overhead a father and daughter talking about me so he swooped in for details and transcribed the following conversation:

FATHER: [inaudible] …creepy.

AARON: Hey did you see that guy wearing the monocle?

FATHER: [laughs] Yeah. It's weird.

AARON: I know. I've been taking pictures of him because it's so odd. I'm just out and about taking pics down here and then there's this guy.

FATHER: I know. It's really creepy.

AARON: Maybe he thinks he's the Monopoly guy or something.

FATHER: Or wants to be in a German film.

1:48 p.m.

MASON: Hi, guys.

TEEN: Why do you have that in your eye?

MASON: Well, I'm near sighted, but just in this eye.

TEEN: Wow, that's very cool. [I assume he meant the monocle, not my nearsightedness]

MASON: Thanks!

1:55 p.m. - I visted an eyewear store.

MASON: Do you guys carry monocles?

STORE: I don't know. I'm new here, so I couldn't tell you.

MASON: I made my own but it keeps falling out.

STORE: [polite chuckle]

MASON: Well, do you expect to carry them sometime in the future?

STORE: I don't know.

MASON: Okay then. Thanks.

2:04 p.m. - To passengers on the trolly, I said, "We used to ride these things everywhere where I come from." Silence.

Conclusions: Strangers are scared of me. In lieu of a little soul searching, I'll conveniently place the blame squarely on this small piece of plastic sitting near my eye.