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Signs of Boredom: A Journal To Learn From

12:10 p.m.

You know that feeling when you've created something that you're really excited about, but as soon as you show it to a friend, you realize that you've made a very poor decision in judgment? As I take my position at the corner of Virginia and Highland, I'm overcome with that feeling that sometimes ideas should stay in my head. I wouldn't call it anxiety. It's more like a feeling of impending doom. That's right, people of Virginia Highland. I don't wear this ugly tie anymore. Deal with it.

 

12:12 p.m.

PLUG: Hey cute puppy, don't go in the road!

WOMAN WITH DOG: He's afraid of your signs.

PLUG: That's alright. A lot of people are. [dog barks] You ain't joking.

 

12:15 p.m.

WOMAN:  Hey.

PLUG:  Hey. How are you?

WOMAN:  Good. Did you quit your job?

PLUG:  No. I just don't wear this tie anymore.

WOMAN:  Okay. Congratulations.

PLUG:  Thanks. I'm very excited about it.

 

12:16 p.m.

MAN:  I'm a pretty intelligent fellow, but I'm not sure if I get this one.

PLUG:  Uh. I'm just excited because I don't wear this tie anymore. It's ugly, right?

MAN:  It's not exactly attractive. So did you quit a job or something like that?

PLUG:  No, I wish. I kind of wish I did, but no. I was just informing people that I don't wear this tie anymore.

MAN:  Okay. You just wanted the world to know. And the one on the back as well?

PLUG:  Oh yeah. It's a different tie, but same message.

MAN:  It's pretty ugly, yeah.

PLUG:  Actually, the backing fell off of this one. And I was wearing it for a long time to weddings.

MAN:  Right. Fuck it now, huh?

PLUG:  Yeah.

MAN:  What do you wear to weddings now?

PLUG:  I have a new tie that I wear to weddings. And it's pretty cool actually. Well, I have more than one tie.

MAN:  But you're done with these two?

PLUG:  These two, yeah. These are gone. These are probably going to Goodwill. This one [without backing] is probably going to the trash.

MAN:  Alright. Cool. I didn't know if there was a deeper political message.

PLUG: Uh. No. No.

MAN:  You're just tired of those ties.

PLUG:  Yeah.

MAN:  Awesome. Have a beautiful day, man.

PLUG:  You, too!

 

12:19 p.m.

Some guy yelled from his car, Who did you get that tie from, Matlock? I laughed at the time because it sounded funny, but now that I think about it, I'm confused. Was Matlock known for his ugly ties? How could a TV lawyer win court cases wearing an ugly tie? Clearly this heckler has watched a lot of Matlock episodes, because who else would equate ugly ties with Andy Griffith? I think the heckler would have been better off asking, Who did you get that tie from, an elderly lawyer during the 1980's? Now that's a question that I can understand, and one that I can definitively answer. No, sir. No, I did not.

P.S. Make a note of the old couple in this photo. You'll be seeing them again.

 

12:20 p.m.

WOMAN:  Why?

PLUG:  Why don't I wear it? It's ugly.

WOMAN:  Well, why are you out here telling everyone?

PLUG:  I don't know.

WOMAN:  Did your fiancee or your wife make you do that?

PLUG:  No, but she is kind of glad this tie is gone because it is ugly.

WOMAN:  I'm glad. Okay.

 

12:22 p.m.

At first I was scared to hold a ridiculous sign like this in public, but now I'm really into it. I'm beginning to understand why marketing is everywhere.

Answer: Because it's fun to annoy people with your presence.

This message brought to you by Attention Whore, Inc. Fuck 'Em With Kindness!

 

12:24 p.m.

MAN:  Why not?

PLUG:  It's really ugly. Would you wear that?

MAN:  No.

PLUG:  I wouldn't either.

MAN:  Did your girlfriend give it to you?

PLUG:  Actually, no. I got it at a thrift store, believe it or not.

MAN:  A what store?

PLUG:  A thrift store.

MAN:  Oh, you did?

PLUG:  Yeah. It's just kind of... I'm done with it. You know?

MAN:  You trying to give it away?

PLUG:  No, I'll probably... Well, I'll give it to Goodwill, I think. But, you know, I'm done.

 

12:27 p.m.

WOMAN:  Good for you.

PLUG:  I know. I'm really excited about it, actually.

WOMAN:  Talk to me a little bit more about that.

PLUG:  Uh, well. It's ugly. I got it at a thrift store.

WOMAN:  I like it.

PLUG:  You do?

WOMAN:  I like the colors.

PLUG:  [turns over sign to reveal tie #2] Well, what about this one?

WOMAN:  No. That's too boring.

PLUG:  Yeah, that's really bad. Which one's worse?

WOMAN:  The other one.

PLUG:  So I should be facing this [uglier] one towards the public, and saving this [more attractive] one in my pocket?

WOMAN:  Well, what does it mean though really?

PLUG:  It's face value. I don't wear that ugly tie anymore. And I didn't lose a bet. And, no, I didn't quit my job.

WOMAN:  Okay. Just cause.

 

12:28 p.m.

WOMAN:  Okay. I have to know about this. I work across the street and I was like why is he standing here with this?

PLUG:  Um. I just wanted to inform people that I didn't wear this tie anymore.

WOMAN:  [laughs] I was like, did he lose a bet?

PLUG:  Okay. I don't know why everybody keeps thinking that.

WOMAN:  Well, I just thought you might have lost a bet. But I agree with you. You probably shouldn't wear those anymore.

PLUG:  Yeah. They are bad. That seems to be the general consensus, and I'm really glad I brought it to the public now. It's like validation.

WOMAN:  Yeah! I'm happy for you.

 

12:30 p.m.

I'm surprised at the overall reaction of Sign #1. Women were much more open to talking with me than men. However, there was disagreement over which tie is uglier. One camp believed that a bold design was preferable over a boring design. And the other camp believed that the first camp was colorblind.

Fact: Both ties are dreadful.

 

Read These Other Signs:

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Issue #28: You Went Thataway!
Issue #28